Sun 19 Feb 2006
These last several days I have been dealing with an inward conflict. I have now been here for a month and all my initial setup is complete. During this time I had five different people from the states here helping me. Now that everyone is gone and the ?honeymoon? is behind me, I find my heart in a strain. I know that for at least a solid year I will be engaged in hardcore language study?.which is ok. What I have been struggling with is the lack of personal involvement. Now before you start feeling bad for me, hear all I have to say. I am a defiant people person. Now I love my personal time, but I was made to help and encourage other people. Last night I was still dealing with this when a friend gave me a bit of encouragement. The Lord also reminded me that I am going though all this for a purpose. My great longing in life is to be at one with God?.for my heart to beat in harmony with His heart. I am willing to go through whatever it takes for that to happen. How amazing would it be to look back on me life and say, ?He was my first love? and really mean it. That is my desire. My life at times has been hard, but as I look back, I wouldn?t trade those times for anything else?they have prepared me for the days to come. As you pray for me, don?t pray that my struggles would go away. Pray that my Father draws me closer to Himself.
With all that said, today was a awesome day. I had a language lesson in the morning that went very well. My teacher drilled me on characters, writing sentences, and responding to him in Nepali. Although I made mistakes, I did well enough to be encouraged. When a lesson goes bad it stinks, but when one goes good it?s great!
Right before lunch S***m and I had a planning session on some of our future goals. Actually, we just bounced some ideas off each other while his two year old son chased my dog around. We came up with a rough idea about locating unreached people groups and assisting Nepalis in planting churches in these areas?what a blessing. It was for this reason I came to Nepal. Pray for our vision to grow in this area. I am finding out that there are many good Christian works in the Kathmandu Valley, but because of war and isolation, a great deal of Nepal is in dire need for the Truth.
February 19th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Hey, I?m praying…stick in there. Reading your words I know exactly what you mean. The honeymoon is definitely over and yet I keep asking God to not make things easier, but to continue drawing me closer yet. No matter how much we love him or know him, we will never know the depth of His love in return.
Keep on keeping on!
Bethany
February 19th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
Hey Nathan! It is good to hear that your language lesson went well. I will be praying that you will learn the language quickly and be able to communicate with the locals in their own language very soon. Say hi to Asha for me!
-Bonnie
February 20th, 2006 at 8:13 am
Psalms 130:5-6